So often, when “bad’ things happen, we see the worst, we run and hide or get caught up in the negativism. And, sometimes, if we choose to, we can see the good that comes as a result. The following is a Taoist parable that I learned during my Relationship Systems coach training. It has a powerful message:

“When an old farmer’s stallion wins a prize at a country show, his neighbor calls round to congratulate him, but the older farmer says ‘Who knows what is good and what is bad?’ The next day some thieves come and steal his valuable animal. His neighbor comes to commiserate with him, but the old man replies ‘Who knows what is good and what is bad?’ A few days later, the spirited stallion escapes from the thieves and joins a herd of wild mares, leading them back to the farm. The neighbor calls to share the farmer’s joy, but the farmer says ‘Who knows what is good or what is bad?’ The followng day, while trying to break in one of the wild mares, the farmer’s son is thrown and fractures his leg. The neighbor calls to share the farmer’s sorrow, but the old man’s attitude remains the same as before. The following week the army passes by, forcibly conscripting soldiers for a war, but they do not take the farmer’s son because he cannot walk. The neighbor thinks to himself “Who knows what is good and what is bad?’ and realizes that the old farmer must be a Taoist sage.”

Just asking that question seems to open up a world of possibility. How much freer would you feel if you gave up judging good and bad? How much worry could you shed? How much relief from grief and sorrow?

Things just are what they are. We don’t know what will come next. All we can do is decide to make the most powerful, positive choices that are available to us in the moment.

After all, who knows what is good and what is bad?

Wow. I really wasn’t sure I was ready for this.

Over the past few years, I’ve watched my friends become grandparents and laughed at them. I would tease them that as soon as their grandbaby was born, their minds would start turning to mush! They’ve all told me that it is an experience like no other.

Now it’s my turn. My daughter and her husband are expecting their first baby at the end of January.

Yikes! I guess I’m going to test out my theory. And, I’m really kind of excited

I haven’t posted for awhile. As it happened, our RVing trip was cut short, and we have returned home.

As I mentioned in my last post, my husband was experiencing some health problems, and eventually we just decided it was better to be home and get medical assistance from the people we knew.

As it turns out, Mike probably only has a pinched nerve. Nothing serious. Which is great!

So what have I learned about giving up control? I think I was mostly reminded of things I already knew, like: what’s going to happen will. All I can control is my response. When you can’t see into the future, make the best of today.

I also believe that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason we need to be home right now. I just have to be open to the opportunity.

Ok I admit it. I am a control freak. As much as I like to think that I am spontaneous and totally cool to go with the flow, I am learning that I can only go with the flow when I know where the flow is going.

Take our current RV trip to the Southern States. We had planned to be away 3 - 4 months. We had no real itinerary. But we had a plan. Things were looked after at home. We had been looking forward to this trip for some time.

Then my husband began experiencing severe pain in his shoulder and arm. We called 911 from the side of the freeway, and an ambulance took him off to the nearest hospital, and one of the firemen that had attended the call towed the trailer to the fire hall where I could leave it while I too went to the hospital.

Long story short: most of a week spent in emergency wards and impersonal motel rooms, we still don’t know for sure what the problem is but are assuming that it is a pinched nerve. He is still in pain, even with the heavy duty pain killers that were prescribed.

So, my point is? I don’t know what’s going to happen from here, and it’s driving me crazy!! I am not in control of the situation. And, it is such an uncomfortable place to be. I really don’t know how to live moment to moment, one day at a time.

But, I am trying to learn. Got any words of advice for me?

It’s been ahwile since I last posted. My husband, Mike and I loaded up the 5th wheel and started our journey South just over a week ago.

The first few days went well - cold, clear and dry. Ideal driving conditions. We made good time and got over the last pass into California just before a series of winter storms set in.

All was going according to plan. Funny that. When it happens, you just gotta know that something is going to come along to derail you, right? Now this isn’t “negative” thinking, but more about how life never seems to go in a straight line.

Well, that 4th day, my husband started complaining about increasing pain in his left shoulder. It had been bothering him for a few days, but nothing serious until now. The pain got worse, and he began to feel light headed. He pulled to the side of the freeway, and we called 911.

To make a long story short, we spent another four days holed up in a motel and various hospital emergency rooms where it was determined that there was no serious underlying cause (ie: heart) and that the problem was probably due to an inflamed disc/ pinched nerve.

Mike is still trying to balance the debilitating “wooziness” that the medications cause with the debilitating pain. We don’t know if we will be able to continue our trip. We don’t know for sure, what the problem really is.

Some observations:

“Home” feels really good! Once we had arranged to get the 5th wheel moved to a park and got out of the motel and into our own space, we immediately felt better. More optimistic.

Expect the unexpected. Things will not go according to plan.

People are wonderful! From the friendly, helpful emergency response team, to the RV guy who moved our trailer, to the retired doctor back home who gave us advise when we couldn’t reach our own doctor. Everyone has been friendly, helpful and sympathetic.

I believe there is a reason or a gift in every situation. Not sure what that is yet……… but it will come!